Hi, remember us? We’re Brandi Chastain and Julie Foudy. We won exactly one World Cup in the last 15 years, and that was only because Kristine Lilly headed one off the line and Briana Scurry moved off her line before a penalty kick without getting caught.
So, of course, we’re kinda upset that the US Women lost to Brazil, 4-0 in the semifinals of this year’s World Cup. But, since we’re too old to play anymore, but we still have friends on the team (except for that catty bitch Hope Solo), we’ll throw the coach under the bus.
I mean, if they beat Norway, they’ll finish third – THIRD – in China. Never mind that we finished third (at home) the last time we played in the World Cup. Don’t bring that up.
“People say this is a step back, but I think Greg Ryan has put us three steps back – all the way to the starting gate,” said Chastain, the 1999 World Cup hero who watched Thursday’s loss from her home in Northern California.
I don’t think we’re overreacting. But since we’re “all the way back to the starting gate,” you gotta like our chances against Norway. In 1991. In Guangzhou. Michelle Akers is gonna be tough to handle.