Last week was Disco Week on American Idol, honoring an era which occurred before most of the contestants were born, so this week they went even deeper into the archives for Rat Pack Week. I was dealing with burning eyes and a fever while this was on, so this entry will be brief - thankfully there are only five of these people left - but just snarky enough, hopefully. Performance reviews, subjective scores and made-up rankings follow after the jump.

First up - Kris Allen. He was asked, “What do you have to do to say in this competition?” and I immediately said, “Be better than Matt Giraud.” Like the old joke about two guys running away from a bear. Anyway, that got us started.

Kris Allen (”The Way You Look Tonight”) - Had the look (they all did, actually, but he was first so it was a nice stage-setter). Then he just crushed it. Seriously, put a cigarette in one hand and a half a glass of Johnny Walker Blue in the other and he could have been doing that in a lounge in Vegas in ‘63. One of the best performances of the season. Simon said it was “wet” (like most of the panties in the audience), whatever that means. I thought it was great. I think he’ll be in the final. SCORE: 9.0.

Allison Iraheta (”Someone To Watch Over Me”) - She looked as reserved and proper as you can be when you’re a 16-year-old girl with purple hair. Oops, she just turned 17! Happy happy. Anyway, she started soft and kinda sultry, which was nice, but then her brain said “Back to rockin’!” and she turned on the Janis Joplin vibe that I’m over by now. She’s probably going to have a career, but she’ll go this week or next, I think. SCORE: 7.5.

Matt Giraud (”My Funny Valentine”) - On hearing that was his choice, I thought it would be cringe-worthy. Then I remembered he’d do it just like he does every song, which is…whatever. I’m sick of his hat, but this week it makes sense, at least. Oh, and he sang. There were words and music and stuff. The judges judged it. I took two ibuprofen. SCORE: 7.5.

Danny Gokey (”Come Rain Or Come Shine”) - Going to a business meeting, Danny? As toned down as he gets, but I’m wondering, “Can he possibly yell this song, too?” Yep. Little pitchy, dog. Still, he should be in the top three. SCORE: 8.0.

Adam Lambert (”Feeling Good”) - That white suit would have played great last week, no? Over the top, as usual, but that’s him. Someone said “theatrical,” and Simon, wisely, points out “Hel-lo? This is what the guy does.” Definitely the best performer this year. Maybe ever. He’s in the final, where it’ll be up to America to decide how flamboyant it wants its Idols to be. SCORE: 8.5.

Power rankings:

1. Adam Lambert (Unchanged from last week)
2. Kris Allen (unchanged)
3. Danny Gokey (+1)
4. Allison Iraheta (-1)
5. Matt Giraud (unchanged)

It’s just a question of whether Matt or Allison goes this week. The other should go next week.

EDIT: It was Matt in the Hat who left, but Adam was in the bottom two, oddly enough. I believe that any of the four remaining contestants could go this week, even though I think Adam is far and away the overall best entertainer. America may have had enough of him, though. We’ll see.

Tags: American Idol

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